So eventhough I feel like I should write about our very fun day with three sweet boys on Friday (Christine's nephew's triplets), and our great trip to the playground in Lyndon, WA on Saturday, and of course my lovely 'kid-free' shopping day with Mary on Thursday, the detail that stands out in my mind that I really want to record is something very different.
As I drove to Vancouver Thursday morning with my ipod playing my tunes and no little voices asking to hear SK8RBoy for the 12th time. As I drove through the Starbucks drive thru for my caramel macchiato with no little voices asking for a hot chocolate. As I drove in blissful peace, by myself, I felt butterflies. I was completely aware of it, completely aware that I was feeling nervous, anxious somehow. I don't consider myself an anxious person in any way - not a worrier by nature. So why, on this beautiful morning, was I feeling this in the pit of my stomach? This feeling that I wasn't doing the right thing? I knew that my kids were happy and in great hands (thanks Nana) and I knew that I deserved a day out to do my own thing every once in a while. So, I still have no answer as to why the butterflies made home in my gut that morning and nor do I feel the need to over-analyze. But I find it curious. I wonder when, if ever, I will lose the feeling of needing to be where my kids are, even though I enjoy the time away. Always that urgency to get back even when there is no hurry. I have no answers but for now, I will take it as a sign that I am exactly where I am supposed to be 99% of the time.
But that is not to say that I won't welcome the butterflies back the other 1%.
And just one little account (because I can't help myself) of Friday. Christine brought these three little boys to hang out with us and we had so much fun. Erin, my niece, came to hang out too (seen on the picnic blanket with the kiddies). My kids enjoyed them so much but the funniest thing for me was lunch. They shoved food in their mouths so fast you would have thought they need to fight for food on a regular basis. They ate off eachother's plates, out of eachother's mouths and at one point stepped right into Christine's sandwich. So cute and very entertaining. My four seem pretty mellow next to those three.
2 comments:
We had so much fun, I know the trips just loved it!!! Thank you especially to Reagan, Taggart and Hudson for playing with them so much and making their day so special!!! Thanks Heidy for everything!!!
i totally get that feeling, too. although it usually hits about an hour or so after i've done my happy dance. today however was different. ken, who is long haul trucking now, is doing a quick turn around run to kelowna. he asked if the kids and i didn't want to go with him. well, i have far to much packing and cleaning and shopping to do before our next two week vacation starting friday, so i declined, but told him to ask the kids if they wanted to go (yes, that little bit of selfishness of wanting time alone). well, they were so excited to go with daddy in his big truck. i dropped them off in surrey at the lot...and now i don't think i'll sleep all night. what was i thinking?
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